After having my daughter, my body did a 180. I expected this but I didn’t expect to really just not feel like myself for so damn long afterwards. Once she turned a year old, I thought to myself “ok…..you should be over this by now.” It was a very confusing time for me. Mentally, I felt stronger than ever. I grew, nourished, and birthed this beautiful child. I have always thought of mothers as sexy and powerful beings and once I became one, I thought the same of myself. I deserve to feel that. We all do. It was more how I fit into clothes that bothered me. I literally didn’t know what to do with this new body of mine. I didn’t know how to dress my mom bod in a way that flattered me and caressed me the way that every woman is entitled to.
Once I got desperate enough, I called up my friend Sonu. She recently just started up a passion driven side job that I knew would lift my spirits. Her job title within her company “House of Nayna” includes but is not limited to: a fashion advisor, personal shopper, stylist, and master of high fashion at a low cost. Just one outing with her made a world of a difference. She showed me my mistakes in size choices, improved my accessory game, and gave me crucial advice on building an outfit specific to my body type. But honestly, beyond all of that, she unknowingly taught me that I am still a bombshell and I deserve to both look and feel it.
This experience influenced a few other moments that made me cleanse any negative feelings that I had in relation to my appearance. So for those who may feel a little extra uncomfortable in their bodies, I have some therapeutic tips for you in hopes to find your way back to confidence.
CLEAN OUT THE CLOSET
Every last god damn piece that you do not wear. It needs to go. All of those “but maybe it’ll fit again one day” items that are collecting dust are being donated. Here’s the thing. By the time these clothes do fit again, they either won’t fit you like you like they used to or you’ll most likely have outgrown the style anyway. Not to mention they are harboring negative feelings. Any pile that is labeled “but maybe they’ll fit again one day” isn’t the most encouraging of thoughts to have in our lives. Any items that do fit but you have not worn in the past 6 months also need to go. You are not wearing them for a reason. You may not know what that reason is but at this point it doesn’t matter, they are clearly not serving you. This process is extremely healing because you are literally letting go of the past here. From this point on, we focus on the beauty of the present.
Bonus: Donating that enormous load of clothing to a shelter full of those in need will make you feel deliriously happy.
Now that you’ve made plenty of room in your closet for killer outfits that will fit you now…it’s time to replenish. I realize that post-holidays make for some tighter than usual budgets but you must at least treat yourself to one outfit. If you are anything like I was before my personal shopping experience which is lost as all hell, don’t worry I’m passing along some professional advice I gained from my fashion advisor, Sonu.
When it comes to shopping & dressing for our body types, here are some things we can try:
- Shop for the size we are now. Wearing a size down hoping weight loss is somewhere in the near future only makes us looks us larger. It also so happens that wearing items that are too big also make us appear larger than we really are as well (I learned this the hard way-I was the queen of buying a size up for comfort’s sake). Another note as we talk about shopping for the size we currently are is to not focus on the numbers. Sizing numbers fluctuate immensely between each and every store so there is no validity in obsessing over the sizing numbers.
- Utilize the dressing rooms. I know, nobody likes those too small and dusty stalls with horrific lighting but the only way to tell whether or not something fits right is to try it on.
- Find our celebrity body type. It’s about damn time that Hollywood is accepting and respecting figures of all sizes. Find a celebrity that rocks your body shape and use them as guidance and inspiration. By focusing on the fit of the clothing worn by our star we can gain information on what will also look A-list on our own bodies.
- Lastly, hire a professional. It may seem like a petty expense but it will likely just take one session to learn the basics. Friends, family, and employees of clothing stores can all be great when seeking advice but they are not always honest or educated in what suits our unique body types. I personally have no regrets and knowing that I can walk into a clothing store alone, carrying confidence is the biggest relief. My friend Sonu is excellent and also has an incredible Instagram account (@houseofnaynawpg) featuring fashion tips and tricks for all. Be sure to check her out.
LOVE THE WAY WE MOVE
We all know exercise is important. We have most likely all tried killing ourselves doing some form/s of physical activity that we despise. We are somehow convinced that the only way to be truly healthy and fit is to put ourselves through hell. This is false. For example, I personally detest running. Running on a treadmill or even jogging outside will never bring me any kind of joy. The few times that I tried to keep up with it, I ended up so miserable that I quit and stop working out altogether. Talk about inconsistent. When we do things we actually enjoy, it’s not a chore. Strength training and cardio interval training is my happy place. I want to do it. I prioritize most of my days to include this type of movement because I enjoy it. It makes me feel both mentally and physically healthier, stronger, and powerful when I do. So find your thing. Yoga, Zumba, CrossFit, running, straight up twerking in your living room to rap music-whatever it is that challenges you in a positive way is enough. I promise.
Y’all knew this was coming. I know it sounds cheesy and corny and it most likely makes your eyes roll back into your head but give it a shot. We are so accustomed to focusing on the negative. It’s not our fault but we are at fault for letting those outside voices influence what we think of ourselves. A woman’s figure comes with so much beauty. We honestly have no idea how precious we are. We are our own worst enemies and it needs to change. We must learn to be kinder to ourselves and treat ourselves with respect. Turn the negatives into positives one day at a time, one affirmation at a time. Rehearse these affirmations aloud and with confidence several times a day. The positive repetitions will eventually start to influence how we think, feel, and live.