It’s no secret that we have all fallen victim of undesirable emotions. Whether we are suffering from feelings of jealousy, fear, or regret, there are ways to conquer these emotions that are harmful to our wellbeing should they be left to simmer too long. Here we are ditching the usual self destructive coping methods that most people consciously (or subconsciously) use such as denial and suppression and we are replacing them with healing behaviours.
It’s a fact. We all want what we don’t have. And whether that is your co-worker’s killer legs, your best friend’s kitchen, your husband’s drive, or your mother’s patience, jealousy is constantly rearing its ugly head. The problem in our world today (especially with the increase in visual stimulation), is that we somehow have all been programmed to compare ourselves to every last thing. Sadly, we have lost our ability to admire, appreciate, support, and even congratulate the blessings in another’s life. Believe it or not, these pestering feelings of envious affairs can cause a lot of unintentional resentment towards the ones you love. Let’s also consider the build-up of ludacris insecurities you are burdening yourself with. Severe jealousy can ruin lifelong relationships. It can interfere with how you see the most precious people in your life and of course, how you see yourself. So how do we tame that jealous monster that is hiding within all of us?
Like I said, we all want what we don’t have. Your co-worker, the one with the killer legs? She would probably do anything for your long, thick hair that has effortless volume. Your bestie with the most glorious kitchen would probably kill for a career in which she felt passionate about. Your husband’s drive may be epic but let’s not forget about your independence which is just one quality of yours that he admires. The patience your mother leads her life with is unbelievable but she will forever long for your sense of self-worth. These facts are not to place you on pedestal. My intention here is not to convince you that you are better than the ones you envy. My hope is that you realize all of the blessings we have just covered; yours and the ones of your friends and family. None are better than the other and we all need to see each other as equals. Every single being has fabulousness to offer the world and it’s time to stop comparing. It’s time acceptance for ourselves and the appreciation for others join forces so we can live happier and healthier lives.
Fear tends to hold us back from our wildest dreams. It constantly paints us into this small dark corner where we feel unworthy and isolated from the rest of the world. The problem here is that we are not seeing this exhausted pattern for what it truly is. It is nobody but us holding those paintbrushes. Fear comes into play in every aspect of our lives. You may be choosing to stay in a profession that is far from fulfilling or in a relationship with your partner who you know isn’t right for you. Living a life that you dread day after day leads to the most worrisome of side effects. Suddenly bitterness overpowers happiness and the person you once knew is long gone. You may daydream of the day where you are truly free. Free to discover yourself and be yourself. Well my friends, you can do more than just dream about those days. You can live those days.
We think nothing is worse than the anticipation of the unknown but we are wrong. There is nothing worse than being painted in that corner, all alone with no self-worth. We assume that the worst of outcomes would result from the decisions we long to make. We worry that we aren’t strong enough or good enough. I have an activity for you. Make a list of all the times you faced your fears and made the big move. Write down all of the positive outcomes that resulted from your bravery. Keep that list as a reminder that you are a badass goddess that deserves to live the life of your dreams. Put down that paintbrush and leave fear behind.
1. REGRET & GUILT
We all have done things we are not proud of or that we wish we would have done differently. As human beings, we are forced to make thousands of decisions a day, and oftentimes on a whim. How can we be expected to always make the best ones? It’s in the cards; we are bound to screw up. Of course, some regrettable decisions are minor and pass quickly. However some mistakes tend to affect us for the rest of our lives. When left unattended for far too long, regret and remorse can lead to depression, self-loathing, shame, and serious health concerns. Coping with regret is not easy but it can be done.
Guilt and remorse need to be felt. It needs to be acknowledged, endured, and let go. This means we are going to lift up that rug, pull out the sensation of sorrow that we have so eagerly brushed under, and we are going to face it. Your haunting situation could have initially taken place over a decade ago, but I promise you that once you look it in the eye it will feel like it was yesterday. Find a method that allows you to work through the events, the outcome, and your reasons of regret. Some find journaling to be healing and others visit professional therapists. Meditation, floatation therapy, or a full day in bed crying hysterically may be exactly what you need to let it all go. Everybody is different and the chosen process for how we heal ourselves is irrelevant in comparison to the goal. Remember that every situation, good or bad, is a teaching. Nothing will ever go away until we learn what we need to know. The end goal is to be honest with ourselves, face the fear, learn the lesson, and feel to heal.
Jealousy, fear, and regret are all feelings experienced by each and every one of us. These feelings are completely normal and are crucial to understand in order to truly appreciate the blessings in life. The unwanted feelings only become problematic when we choose to avoid them for months or years even, creating nothing but a toxic environment for both our mental and physical health. The symptoms of this type of danger include all digestive issues, skin rashes and irritations, candida (yeast overgrowth), food sensitivities, autoimmune diseases, serious mental conditions, and more. Many people underestimate the impact of these everyday emotions turned toxic. Harbouring these sensations cause far more damage than the eye can see. For these reasons we must learn to cope, accept, and heal. The quicker we resolve any undesirable feelings towards another or ourselves, the quicker we are able to enter a life of wisdom, strength, and good health.
What are your favourite ways to deal with these toxic emotions that arise?